


Three Nerds

by redeem147



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-09
Updated: 2011-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-22 11:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redeem147/pseuds/redeem147
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No, not Warren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Nerds

The Bronze was jumping, crowded with people listening to the band, talking and drinking. It was so strange to be here again, among so many people. He’d spent the better part of a year in isolation, stuck in one basement, one “lair” after another. He tried to manipulate his way through the masses, balancing his too full cup of beer. “Oh, sorry.” He looked up at the face of the woman he had bumped, spilling his drink down the front of her sweater, and blanched. “I mean, I’m really, really sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. It’ll dry.” Willow brushed at the damp spot. “Don’t worry, Jonathan, I won’t bite.”

 

“I was kinda more afraid that you’d rip my head off and use it for volleyball practice.” He watched her warily, but she only smiled.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you. Come and sit with me. I’ll buy you another beer.” She led him to a table in the corner, where she’d left her jacket as a place holder. “Sit.”

 

He sat, obediently. “I didn’t have anything to do with, well, what happened. But I still feel guilty. If I could change anything...”

 

“We can’t change the past. It took a lot to teach me that, and there’s things I’ve done that make what you did look pretty petty.” She cocked her head to the side. “Was Warren your friend?”

 

“Warren? God, no.” He was cautious, now. Maybe she was trying to trick him. “I’m not just saying that. We were working together, and it was stupid, but he was never my friend.”

 

“It’s just that ... If he was, I’m sorry.”

 

Jonathan didn’t expect that. Warren had killed her lover. She had killed Warren. He and Andrew had been caught in the crossfire. “I guess you wonder why I hooked up with him. You know I’ve always felt pretty powerless, all through high school, and after.” Willow nodded at that. “I wanted attention. I wanted to feel special, powerful. I thought Warren was offering that. He wasn’t. Being bad isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

 

“No, ‘s not, is it?” They turned around at a familiar voice.

 

“Spike,” Willow exclaimed. “Join us.”

 

“Yeah. Sit down,” Jonathan added nervously, running his hand around his throat, as if to reassure himself that his head was firmly attached.

 

“Can I get you a beer, Spike?” Willow asked, standing to head towards the bar.

 

“As my dear Buffy would say, ‘A world of no’,” the vampire replied. “Booze has caused enough trouble in my life. And as this fine establishment has yet to add pig’s blood to the menu, I wouldn’t say no to a bottled water.”

 

“Bottled water,” Willow laughed. “Oh, God.”

 

The two men sat awkwardly together as the red head went for refreshments. “So,” Jonathan said, “I hear you were away. Out of the country.”

 

“Right,” Spike replied. “Africa. You?”

 

“Mexico.” They both stared at the table top until Willow returned.

 

“Beer for you, water for you.” She settled back into her seat. “What you were saying, Jonathan. About feeling powerless. I get that. Magic made me feel powerful. Too powerful.”

 

“Yeah,” he replied. “Magic will do that. Make you feel special, I mean. I thought I’d learned my lesson, but once Warren and Andrew were in the picture, I just fell right back into it. Then they treated me like I didn’t matter. Teased me. Just like high school, all over again.”

 

“So you give into the magic, when you think nothing else will work.” Willow took a swig of her beer. “And instead of getting the power you want, you find out you’ve lost control.”

 

“Right.” Spike looked at the water in his cup. Really, really wished it was vodka. “I hate that feeling. Losing control. Givin’ in to the Big Bad. Never really works out.” He sipped the clear liquid. “Hopin’ I’m beyond that now. For Buffy’s sake.”

 

“And yours, I hope. It shouldn’t all be about Buffy. We matter too.” Willow drank some more of her beer. “God, I was such a geek in high school. Walking in Buffy’s shadow. Playing Super Computer Girl. Trying to be part of the gang.”

 

“Part of the gang.” Jonathan looked at Willow. “I guess you do get it. That’s just how I felt. Like I didn’t really belong. Just a little useless nerd. Everybody pushing me around.”

 

Spike nodded. “Exactly.”

 

“Oh, come on, Spike.” Willow punched his arm. “I bet you were, like, teen rebel of the eighteen hundreds. Raising hell and living wild.”

 

“I was a pathetic little prat of a momma’s boy who couldn’t write poetry worth a damn and couldn’t make a friend to save my life. Until I met Dru. She showed me power like I’d never dreamed. Turned me right around; made me the Big Bad vampire. Never regretted a day of it, until I fell in love with Buffy.” He rested his chin on his hands. “Now I got plenty of regrets. Just hope I don’t blow it this time.”

 

“Wow,” Jonathan exclaimed. “So you were a nerd too.”

 

“Gee,” Willow added. “I never would have guessed.”

 

Spike smiled. “You know somethin’? Suddenly things don’t seem so bad.”

 

Willow raised her cup. “To being yourself.”

 

Jonathan touched her cup with his. “To not fearing your inner nerd.”

 

Spike joined his water to the toast. “To kindred spirits.”


End file.
